It’s the season when hearts, flowers and candies fill store aisles and when commercials for diamonds and chocolate play in between our nightly TV shows. Valentine’s Day is upon us once again, and for many people, it’s a dreaded holiday that comes with a lot of expectations, which can make some people feel downright lonely and sad.
Whether you love Valentine’s Day or not, or are single or in a relationship, you can celebrate the most important relationship of all this February 14th, and that is the relationship you have with yourself.
So, what is self-love?
Self-love is an awareness of our body’s mental and emotional needs and a celebration of oneself. Self-love is being sensitive, warm, and caring towards oneself, and practicing it paves the way for genuine and unconditional happiness.
Valentine’s Day is meant to celebrate love and romantic relationships; but this year, you can celebrate one of the most important relationships that exist. By practicing self-love this Valentine’s Day you can build a stronger and more loving relationship with yourself that will extend into every other day of the year, for years to come, with these steps:
Accept Yourself
Probably the most important way to practice self-love – this Valentine’s Day, and every day – is working towards self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance forces us to confront our past and the things that have been buried within us subconsciously. For some of us starting out on this self-love journey, we have to learn to be nice to ourselves for once, and that can be no simple task.
So how does someone start accepting themselves? How do we silence the inner critic within us who tells us we aren’t worthy of self-love?
Self-acceptance takes time. For most of us, we can’t instantly love and accept ourselves in the snap of a finger. There’s a lot of inner conflicts to be sorted through to build ourselves up to a position of loving ourselves wholeheartedly.
For today, and hopefully, every day for the rest of your life, focus on what makes you smile: your family, your friends, your accomplishments, your strengths, the things that make you laugh, the hardships you’ve overcome, the people you’ve met, and the things you love. Write them down in a journal so you can refer back and remember them. Continue doing the things you love, channeling your strengths, striving to be the best version of yourself, and practicing kindness.
Start to recognize what doesn’t make you smile. Embrace the mistakes you’ve made, and try to see your “flaws” as parts of your being. These are not shortcomings because you wouldn’t be who you are without them. There is no such thing as perfect. We all make mistakes and as much as we can wish we could be perfect, we aren’t. You are who you are, and you deserve to love yourself.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
As humans, we are constantly comparing our lives to others. We wonder why we can’t accomplish what others have, or why our lives can’t be like those we look up to – no matter how impractical that may be.
We wonder why we can’t be skinny like that girl, or buff like that guy, or why our coworker seems to have more money and more opportunity to do the things we dream of.
While some people’s lives seem perfect, we tend to forget that we have no way of knowing what’s truly going on behind closed doors.
Part of loving yourself is learning to be grateful for the life you already live. Whenever you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, remind yourself of what you have to be happy about, and that the person you compare yourself to may be secretly wishing he or she had the life you had.
Establish “ME” Time
“Me” time means a real, solid chunk of time set aside for you, and only you.
That’s right. You.
“Me” time is meant to help you focus and learn to accept yourself – without any interference from family, work, or your normal day-to-day routine. This allotted time for “me” cannot be spent doing tasks like answering emails, or bending yourself backward to the demands of others.
“Me” time and self-love are not selfish or narcissistic. You already devote so much of yourself to others. Everybody deserves a little “me” time, and we can only perform better in our daily tasks by giving ourselves a break from time to time.
For those who want to practice self-love this Valentine’s Day, there needs to be a decent amount of “me” time to go around. Whether you wish to spend your “me” time at a spa or home relaxing, make sure you won’t be disturbed. So turn off your phone, hire a babysitter, or take a personal day off from work, because you’re going to be practicing some serious “me” time this self-loving Valentine’s Day.
Do Something You Enjoy
Remember when you practiced self-acceptance by writing down your strengths and a list of things you enjoy doing (in step #1)? Well, it’s all going to be an excellent reference for this next step.
Doing the things we enjoy is practicing self-love. We’re honoring ourselves when we do our favorite activities, and we make ourselves feel good in the process.
So spend that much-needed “me” time doing something you love, or devoting a part of each day towards doing something you enjoy. Take this time to not only enjoy yourself but to do something that will give you a reason to feel accomplished.
Whether that’s trying out a new class at the gym with a friend, or cooking a fabulous dish, reading a book or finishing a jigsaw puzzle – do it, savor doing it, and feel accomplished for doing it.
Unplug For 20 Minutes
We’re constantly wired into our technology, and between our phones, computers, social media, and televisions, we simply cannot catch a break. We live in a fast-paced world that’s only growing faster, and it can wreak havoc on us physically and mentally.
This self-loving Valentine’s Day, turn off your phone, laptop, and all other digital distractions, for 20 minutes. Focus on what it’s like to be unplugged (it’s probably been a while). Experience what it’s like to sit in silence. This is a great time to stretch and listen to your body, or go for a walk and listen to the sounds of your feet hitting the ground.
Unplugging is a time to reflect without distraction. It’s a time to tune in with yourself and attain a level of calm. It’s a great time to listen to your body’s needs and your mind’s thoughts. Plus, if you decide to unplug before bed, you may have an easier time falling asleep!
Declutter
Every so often we need to declutter and get organized. Physical clutter can clutter our minds, and if you’re practicing self-love this Valentine’s Day, there is simply no room for it.
This is the perfect time to (finally) tackle that mess of a room, clean out your overflowing closet, and purge those things that are no longer of use. It’s also a time to get rid of things that remind you or connect you to your past.
Letting go of the past is an important step towards self-acceptance, and when we learn to accept ourselves; past, present, and future, that is when we learn to love ourselves truly. You’ll feel great after sorting through all of the junk that’s accumulated over the months and years, and you can make room for more memories while letting go of the burdening past.
Pamper Yourself
After decluttering your closet, you may have made some room to update your wardrobe, or perhaps you haven’t yet used those sweet-smelling bath bombs you got over the holidays?
When you celebrate self-love this Valentine’s Day, it’s the right time to pamper yourself and practice self-care. We spend a lot of time focusing on our mental well-being when practicing self-love, but our bodies don’t always get the same amount of love and attention.
Take a sudsy, hot bath, or visit the spa. Buy yourself a new outfit, or a new pair of shoes. Fill your body with good, nutritious food, and exercise. Get good sleep – every night! Treat your body right, show it the love it deserves, and you’ll feel the love not only physically, but mentally.
Show Gratitude
Part of loving yourself is loving your support system of friends and family. Your support system includes the people who lift you up and not bring you down. These are the people who bring out your good qualities, and not your bad. They are there for you at your weak points, and they reciprocate a healthy relationship that’s based on caring, listening, and bringing out the best in each other.
Celebrate these people and all the love circulating amongst you by showing them how grateful you are for their friendship. It could be a simple “thank you” card, or email, a present, or just a night out over drinks and dinner. Show them how grateful you are for them and remind them how much you love and appreciate them.
Take Yourself On A Date
This self-loving Valentine’s Day is all about treating yourself right, and what better way to treat yourself than to take yourself out on a date?
No, it’s not weird to go solo to a restaurant or the theater. People go on solo dates all of the time, and Valentine’s Day is not reserved to couples exclusively.
So this February 14th, make reservations to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try or buy tickets to a concert or movie you’d enjoy seeing, and treat yourself.
Write Yourself A Love Note
A love note written by yours truly could even be as simple as a few encouraging words to help you get through the day. It could even be written on a post-it note, or as simple as, “You’re awesome!”
Not sure what to write about? Write down what you would want to tell yourself for that day only, and write about the reasons you have to smile or the things you have to look forward to. You could even write down a goal you’d like to accomplish that day and a long-term goal you’d like to work towards. It could even be as simple as a gratitude list.
Writing yourself a love note is a good way to remind yourself to keep on the self-love journey you’re about to embark on. So make sure you keep your love note somewhere you’ll see it, every day, like on the refrigerator or your bedstand.
This Valentine’s Day, start celebrating the ever-important relationship you have with yourself by practicing self-love, self-care, and treating yourself right. By practicing self-love this Valentine’s Day, you can strengthen a bond that will be with you the rest of your life. When you love yourself, you are capable of loving others so much more.
So spread the love, and love yourself!